Saturday, July 29, 2017
Something happened this week. Something that came out of nowhere… unexpected.
And, truthfully, I was caught unaware. So, also truthfully, it hurt. Really hurt.
You see, I am what some in my life refer to as “tender hearted.” That’s not me singing my own praises. Trust me. In many cases, it’s a weakness.
This is a warning to you, if you actually have a heart. In case you haven’t figured it out by now, they can be broken.
Now, as always, let me get you started down the right path as to what my point is in this piece.
Sometimes you just have to let something go. Or someone. In this case I’ll at least clue you in that it was (is) a someone.
I’m not sure if you can relate, but in our lives people often come in and they also go out from our sphere of influence. We enter in to each other’s lives by chance or by design (you be the judge) and we are influenced or we are also the influencer.
But in either case, our lives are changed by human contact and interaction.
This person was once someone who I called friend and if I may be so bold, we influenced each other. For a time, I believe that that interaction was mutually beneficial and left indelible marks on each of us. I can only speak for myself in saying that I have some really good memories from those days gone by.
As happens to many of us, maybe even all of us throughout our lives, these relationships can grow for a time and then fade. That’s life. That’s reality.
Time and circumstances just do that. We flow into and out of each other’s lives and that’s Ok.
So long as most of our interactions have been good, we can experience those feelings briefly again for a time when we cross each other’s paths by chance. We “take up where we left off.”
That’s what we hope for at least. And, often that is what happens. We meet again and we reminisce. Swap stories and recollections of days gone by.
But time can also be cruel. And because we are beings that have been given a great and terrible gift, we can also make some pretty bad choices. Some of these decisions can hurt us directly and some can drag others down into the mud with us.
I pity those who make choices that hurt themselves. I pity those who do so even more when they’re unaware that they are leaving a wake of damage behind them that inevitably causes others pain and heartache. I pity those who are so blind that they lash out from their own pain and lostness to deliberately harm others.
My point is, that where we are left with no way to breach the divide and bring healing, we must sometimes make one of the simplest and yet emotionally challenging decisions in our lives.
We must let go.
Yes, let go.
We are after all, individuals after all. And, we are ultimately only responsible for our own thoughts and actions.
We cannot let another speak lies into our conscious and unconscious selves. We must not give them credibility by dwelling on them.
We must learn to let the lies and false judgments of others roll off our hearts like raindrops from leaves. We must look within and look in the mirror and affirm the truths that we know about ourselves.
Now, if you are a follower of Christ, you can also take comfort in clinging to His promises regarding His adopted children.
He promises that He will never leave nor forsake us
He promises that He will not leave us to be tempted beyond what we are able to withstand, but will provide us with an escape.
He promises us that He loved us while we were in our sinful state.
Why do I bring up that last one you might ask?
A simple reason. I know that every story involving two people always has two sides. Two perspectives.
And, though we may often think we are in the right, it is certainly possible that we can feel that way and yet be absolutely wrong. That is just a part of human nature.
So, comes the end of this little monologue.
Though I can accept that there is a little room for me to be wrong in this situation, I have to (in this case) respectfully hold to my decision to cut this person out of my life for the time being.
They spoke lies into my life and spoke them out of some known, and some unknown places of pain from their own soul. And, I will not take on those lies as even holding a shred of truth.
You see, we must have the strength to accept just criticism of ourselves and then make adjustments to how we live and act to become a better version of ourselves. But, when words are spoken not out of love or respect or a desire to help someone, then they lose their credibility and must be discarded.
I am discarding the things that were said.
I am praying that you, my readers, will do the same.
Take on the valid criticisms of others and humbly make the necessary changes to become a better you, but when someone is dead wrong about you: Just Let it go.