It’s Never Easy, but it Will Eventually Get Easier

So, it’s the eve of Easter, 2019.

And here I am finding it once again a little hard to fall asleep on this night.

My thoughts are swimming and I find myself dwelling on the very recent loss of a new friend.

No death is every really easy. No death is leaves us completely at peace. There is always going to be grief.

And so it is with the passing of this recently acquainted friend of mine.

I spoke with him and had some really great conversation on a Tuesday evening and looked forward to a group get together later that week.

Less than 48 hours later I received a text that he’d gone home to be with Jesus late the night before.

This was one of those passings that was just so unexpected and tragic that it left me. Yes me…

Truly speechless…

When I told Julie the news, she actually cried out… a raw moment of anguish… we just couldn’t believe the news.

I remember immediately going to God in prayer and both of us struggling just to produce any words.

Sometimes the passing of a friend or loved one will hit you that way. There are just no easy answers. There’s just not any cliché that would ever bring real comfort.

For those who loved this man, I can speak of God’s love for him. I could speak of God’s peace and comfort for those who mourn.

And, don’t hear me wrong or misunderstand me when I say that I fully believe that God can bring His peace that passes all understanding during these moments in our lives. Because He does…

I have personally experienced His peace at times of great personal pain and anguish…

But, despite my previous personal experience, I cannot write off or diminish the very real pain that this man’s long-term friends, his loved ones and his co-workers are now feeling…

There’s no easy nor cliché answer to those who have prayed prayers over someone for deliverance, or healing or some kind of rescue when it does not come.

I’m going to say something here. I’m not sure if it will offend anyone or make you think any less of me, but here goes…

There are times and there are circumstances where we simply may not be given an answer or explanation by God for why something plays out the way that it does. We may never know this side of eternity why something happened here in this life the way that it has.

I’m not even sure that God owes us any explanation for what He allows to happen in this world.

And no, none of that brings any easing of the pain and loss right now.

Despite the pain that I feel right now in the passing of my friend, I am placing my confusion, my momentary feelings of anger (I’ll explain that in a minute), my frequent moments of grief, at the foot of our Savior’s cross.

I have no answer for why this happened. I am comforted that God is walking with us (with me) through this time. I am comforted by that fact that He has promised to never leave nor forsake us. I am comforted by knowing that when grief is just too much, that He will carry us while we don’t have the strength to face our sadness and loss.

Now, I mentioned anger… yes, anger regarding this loss.

And, this is not the first time I’ve experienced anger in my grief. Anger is a natural part of grieving. We (I) feel the sting of our lost relationship with the passing of our loved ones. We feel robbed of all the potential of what the future could have been had they stayed.

All that to say, that God is not afraid of our anger and our questions. He understands our grief and how we experience life better than we do ourselves.

So I say to you. When you are feeling all the many aspects of grief and sorrow, go ahead and share those with God. Pray through your thoughts and feelings and you may start to find that God will bring the peace and comfort you seek whether we receive answers to our lingering questions or not.

I’m not going to lie… the tears have flown today. A couple of times and somewhat unexpectedly too. Grief seems to be that way. It comes and goes in waves.

It’s Easter time. And our pastor reminded us tonight that the cross, though it is certainly a symbol for what Jesus was willing to do to free us from the bondage of sin, it may not be the most important symbol regarding our faith and hope.

Our pastor argued that really the most important symbol regarding our faith is this:

That our Jesus did not stay dead… He rose on the third day and the tomb was left empty!! Hallelujah!!

So the biggest symbol of our faith is just that… the empty tomb and a risen Savior!!

With that, I leave you with this…

Grief will never be easy… I’m pretty sure that it shouldn’t be easy either.

Could it be that grief is yet another experience by which God ensures that when we weather the storm of grief, that we are refined and become stronger and better people, better reflections of His love to the World around us?

After all, we like diamonds cannot hope to become what God intends us to be without fire and pressure.

So, my prayer is this, that as we go through the many griefs that will assuredly come into our lives, that we go to our God in prayer daily and ask Him to carry us, especially when we are filled with confusion, anger and the roots of bitterness. Jesus was and is well acquainted with grief and can come alongside us to provide all that we need so long as we are prepared to receive it.

If you are going through a time of grief right now, I pray that you can come to a place of comfort and the peace that passes all understanding despite that knowing that right now there are no easy answers as to why your loved one was called home so soon.

It’s my prayer now that God will bring you an extra measure of peace as you read and reflect on what I’ve written here.

In Christ’s love,

Mike <><

Isaiah 53:2-4  “He grew up before Him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no stately form or majesty to attract us, no beauty that we should desire Him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief. Like one from whom men hide their faces, He was despised, and we esteemed Him not. Surely He took on our infirmities and carried our sorrows..”