"50"

Here I stand

Looking back

Across a rich landscape

Of mountains and valleys

I can see the past

Dark days and bright ones too

Loves indelible mark on my soul

Scars speak of battles fought

But here on this high peak

After reaching this midpoint

A decision calls for attention

And I am filled with fear

No stranger to this

Didn’t ask for these burdens

But we all face them

Find solace in experiences shared

And so I move on

For staying means stagnation

No resting on laurels here

Courage creating forward motion

And this bravery you see

Well, it’s not my own

It comes from roots grown deep

Anchored in your promises

But this heart still trembles

Unknown future breathes its threats

And I am tempted to run

From this fight to flee

But instead I cry out

For your hand in mine

And the hands of fellow travelers

Loves and friendships, treasured gifts

Undeserved grace still blesses

And I find my strength

Rise again from my knees

And you lift my chin

You dry these tears

Whisper your promises yet again

And you call me to follow

To enter a battle already won

So here I stand

Looking back has its value

See the altars I lifted here and there

You’re faithfulness proven every time

You’ve never forsaken me

You’ve always been there to catch me

You’ve never left me alone

And for that Dear Jesus I love you

A friend on whom I can always depend

Who understands even my silence

Who will share even my final steps

You are the light in my darkness

You are the truth

The Word that has always been

You are the life pulsing in these old bones

The very breath in these lungs

The breath of God

Spoken into existence by him

Sitting at his right hand

Your life given for mine

My life a one of a kind gift

Given with no strings attached

Wrapped in your love and care

Meant to be given away too

It may take me all my life long

A blink of time in your eyes

And a drop in the ocean of eternity

But I want to give it away as you ask

To be more than the sum of my parts

Your child through and through

Want to see your eyes smiling at mine

To hear you whisper “Well done my son”

And so I take this next step

Set off again on this life road

Take lessons from the past

And look forward with peace in my heart

To where you will lead me next

 By Michael Meehan - 10-27-13

The Courageous

How do I take courage

Face each day

With all these storms

Break the slaver’s chains

Courage is moving forward

Doing something

While others do nothing

Action over stillness

Outcomes unknown

But rewards assured

Tapped into your strength

A twig in your vine

Mysteries becoming less deep

As you reveal your heart

The blessings of friendship

And promises kept

We, your adopted children

Princesses and Princes are we

Called into your purposes

And you dress us for battle

Mercenaries we are not

But an army instead

Battles fought quietly

From our knees in prayer

Enemy brought low

In quiet acts of love

Selfless giving

From grateful hearts

Captives freed

The lost are found

Face to face

One relationship at a time

So I’ve thrown in my lot

Laid my sword at your feet

Accepted all you offer

And sworn my allegiance

The Sneak

It sneaks up from behind

Catches you unaware

Sometimes oblivious

You just don’t care

But when it catches you

When you’re caught in its wake

Fear rises from its slumber

And you tremble and shake

This is the moment

Is it fight or flight?

No time to think

Whether wrong or right

And so you act

Lean into the moment

Accept your vulnerability

And face the torment

And you may wonder

Who this monster might be

Of whom do I write?

And how come it frightens me?

Since you asked

With sincerity of heart

And in boldness too

I will answer for my part

This monster dwells

Not in the mountains

Nor in the deepest ocean

In its dark and unseen fountains

Instead it lives close by

Nearer than your dearest one

Leaps from the unlikeliest place

And from it we cannot run

Can you venture a guess?

Have I given no clue?

Are you ready to give in

Truly, have I stumped you?

Forgive me my vagueness

And my cryptic manner

I am nearer to my reveal

And to surrender’s banner

I speak of a monster

And for it I’m not to blame

It’s forced upon me by others

And its name my friend is “Shame”

Altars and Burning Bushes

Of Altars and Burning Bushes – Jan 28, 2013

Your still and quiet voice

Whispers softly to my heart

Cannot ignore its’ powerful call

Tears come as memory rises

You turn my minds eye

To look from this vista

Back over my life

Molded by your skillful hand

Catching glimpses

Of altars and burning bushes

Carefully placed

Where you met with me

You have made these promises

And you have never failed

Never forsaken me or any other

Your words our anchor

In life’s inevitable storms

Can’t take the credit

But I can treasure hope

For this thing I have never lacked

The blessings you’ve bestowed

And because of these blessings

I have built these altars

Where my eyes have seen

Your miracles and victories

I stand here and my tongue confesses

The truth of your love

Your undeniable hand

In these unforgettable moments

I have not faced the Red sea

And no oppressors like Egypt

But still you have heard my cry

To be saved from my enemies

And so I have looked back

Over a life like so many others

With its challenges and battles

And I have seen burning bushes

Moments where you have spoken

God moments

Where my heart beat faster

For I knew I was in your presence

Standing on holy ground

So when this old world

Does its best to drag me down

To drown my hopes

In overflowing sadness

I look back over my shoulder

Back over the distance

Down the length and breadth

Of this fragile life

And to my minds eye

You bring forth

Every altar set there

To remember each miracle

The greatest to the smallest

And warm tears begin to fall

Like joyful rain

On my grateful heart

For I have not forgotten

I have not let slip away

The burning bushes

Or the angel songs

The answered cries

For you are faithful

And I will not let go

Though hope is fragile

I have not let it go

So may those who read

These mortal words

And these finite phrases

Look carefully backwards

And may they never miss

Nor dare to overlook

The burning bush moments

And the altars reverently built

On their own journey

Over the sands of time

And into their present

Carried forward, this gift

And may they not let go

Of this same hope

That he will never leave nor forsake

Those that love him and seek his face

by Michael Meehan

Lean into Joy

I long to lean into joy

To practice gratitude

Taking note of blessings

And dwelling on thanksgiving

To become a glass

Not as now, half empty

And not even half full

Instead, spilling over the rim

To walk away from dread

To run from the shoe drop

Living in the joy of each moment

Where simple things become defining

To truly feel adequate

Knowing that I am enough

The illusion of perfection a destroyer

Seeing myself through Christ’s eyes

Cast far away the falsehoods

Being vulnerable and real

Accepting my quirks and uniqueness

And loving others for the same

So when the little joys of life

Spring up before my eyes

May I vanquish the stormy thoughts

Seeking to steal away these precious gifts

And when a heart of gratitude takes over

Then thanksgiving will begin to flower

Fearful heart will gain new strength

And the enemy’s lies will fall on deaf ears

So God please hear this fervent prayer

And grant this heartfelt wish

That I might become a man of gratitude

With thanksgiving in all that comes my way

Let Your "Merry Christmas" not just be a "Happy Holidays."

Just sitting here thinking on this gray and wet Fall day. Setting my mind up for the day. Going to church and then later, taking Alyssa to her praise team practice where they are preparing for several Christmas program presentations. 

Several thoughts are still bouncing around in this brain of mine. Thoughts that occurred to me as I enjoyed going to the 2nd annual city of Eastvale, CA tree lighting festivities last night.

The first and foremost thought that hit me last night, was how great it was that I have so many wonderful friends! We were fortunate enough to share some special moments with some of our friends from our Bible study small group last night and I was greatly encouraged by the meaningful conversations I had with a few of them. Friendships are some of our greatest and often undervalued treasures. Let's all take some time this year to remember and cherish those we care about. Let's remember that though this time of year is filled with fun and fellowship, it is also a time that can be difficult, stressful, and lonely for many of those we know. Let's take the time to do more than just the casual hello and do what it takes to lift each other up and show the love of Christ in whatever the Holy Spirit inspires us to do.

The second thought is this: As I listened to the music programs that were highlighted last night at our church sponsored festivities, it was not lost on me that at the end of each performance, whomever was the spokesperson for the performing groups made sure to wish everyone "Happy Holidays!" Though I fully understand that there are those who do not believe as we Christians do and though I also understand that there were possibly verbal agreements made to avoid any references to Christ since the event was setup for the city of Eastvale, the last time I looked at our great country's constitution I was under the impression that we still have freedom of speech and freedom of religion among other things.

Let's face it, if there were no celebration of Christ's birth at this time of year, is it possible that there would be some other winter holiday festivities? Yes, it is certainly possible. However, that is not the case in reality. The reality is that the primary celebration of this time of year is Christ our Savior's birth. I for one will not stop saying Merry Christmas. I am not ashamed of my Savior or what this holiday is really about. The gift giving and the myths set up around Santa Clause are not bothersome to me, though they can certainly be distracting . For those of you who choose to stay away from causing controversy or rocking the boat over our beliefs, you are free to do so. Just keep in mind that Jesus did stir it up when he walked among us and that he did say that we would suffer for bearing the mark of being his children. Let us continue in courage and without shame in speaking about his love and showing our allegiance to something far bigger and much more important than being politically correct. Let us enthusiastically say "Merry Christmas" since it is for that reason above all else that we celebrate this time of year. Be strong and courageous!

I am heading back to work tomorrow after spending the last two plus months on a leave of absence. If you are a person of prayer, please lift me up as I get back into the work groove.

Where Do We Stand?

Where Do We Stand?

Though my body lies here

Beaten down, bruised, and sore

Though my heart quakes

And, my chest is heavy with fear

I hear echoes calling

Whispering quietly to my soul

Waking slumbering hope

Gentle hand lifts fallen chin

You raise my tear stained eyes

To look on your kind face

Compassions’ gift in your every word

Falls on my ears like rain after a drought

Gently lifting me to my feet

Arm slips under mine and bears

The weight of all my fears and cares

Guiding me forward through life’s storms

How lost this heart, from wandering far

Seeking for the misplaced piece

To fill this God shaped gap

A piece once placed and then left behind

Sorely missed now and longed for

I know you are close at hand

For it is I, not you that strayed

Your promise never to leave, unbroken

So now I ask for you to step back in

And assume your rightful place

Upon the throne that I usurped

And I once again at your feet

At your beck and call

A foot soldier and standard bearer

Strengthened by your promises

Both fulfilled and yet to be

Your kind eyes shift to fierce

And you call out your marching orders

Call me to courage and standing strong

Asking me to overwhelm fear with prayer

For you see, when I look back

Across the length of my memories

There are alters there

Monuments to your faithfulness

For my faith in you my Lord

My savior, redeemer, and friend

It has never been misplaced

When my hand has slipped into yours

Higher Mammal

Higher Mammal  – June 26, 2012

Where are the heroes?

What happened to the brave?

Courage seems too rare

Honor vanished and gone

Moved by nothing

Except selfish pursuits

We throw away eternity

Sell it for finite possessions

Seek for security in a job

For peace in a home

For love in a significant other

Eyes on all but the creator

Settle for the mundane

For life with no adventure

Predictable days with little risk

And for nothing to aspire

Don’t believe in the eternal

Nothing but a higher mammal

Born, learn, breed, and die

Hope but an abstract thing

Never asking why there’s a hole

At the center of our existence

Never filled and never satisfied

Always left wanting

Somehow blinded to our need

Believe ourselves good and yet

By what standard are we measured

A deep question for a mammal

Wake up and look back

Over a life gone by

Wondering where did it fly

Terminal existence pricks us

Searched for answers

But rejected them all

Grave causes desperation

Hope waking in renewed thought

Start the questioning again

Creator waits and is unafraid

No question being stupid

With eternity on the line

A toast to the seekers

For those who seek truth

Unsatisfied with weak humanism

They find truth in one so named

My Lazarus Journey

Hard is the road

To where a new future begins

Narrow the path

That leads to promises fulfilled

Can’t reach my destination

On the strength of a broken heart

So many dreams died along the way

Not sure if any remain

My hope lies barely breathing

Like the flutter of tiny wings

Clinging to life by finest thread

Who will dare to save me?

Does anyone get me?

Does anyone care?

Does anyone want me…

More than what I can provide?

Maybe I want more

Than what any human can give

Maybe my hearts longing

Can only be filled by my maker

Though I wish nothing more

Than to leave this pain behind

Though I’d rather be

Far away on the other side

I am deeply committed

Heels dug in and clinging tight

To the promises You made

My Savior and friend

No other has been so faithful

No other has in every moment

Through joy and sorrow

Been ever at my side

For now I know you carry me

My faith but a tiny thing

Put to shame by a mustard seed

Praying your faith replaces mine

An empty vessel

A lump of clay

I lie here

Awaiting your strong hand

Awaiting the artist’s touch

The old man ready to die

Sacrificed my longed for son

At your blessed request

Restore my dreams

Breathe life back

Into these dry bones

Call me back from the dead

For my very marrow cries out

For your presence

To call my heart your dwelling

To cleanse every dark corner

For now dear friend

I wait quiet in the night

Anticipation my companion

And a new dawn approaches

Understanding Forgiveness is a Long Journey

Pardon my sarcasm

Forgive my lack of p.c.

But where would we be

Without the curious?

Want me to just conform

Kowtow to your ways

But I look in the mirror

And no lemming do I see

Pardon my French

But, you’re a follower

Nauseatingly gullible

Intellectually dishonest

Follow the tides

Of popular tripe

Winds of change come

And you’re long gone

Say I’m a fool

Call me anachronistic

A freak following

Nothing but a lunatic

Many ways to God?

You say it’s true

But everything can’t be

Wind carries away the chaff

One day holy fire

Will leave only the pure

Absolute truth standing alone

All that remain, on their faces

Gone like winter snow

On a sunny day forgotten

Your empty philosophies

Betraying you and your kind

And the risen Son on his throne

Will cast his rays day and night

Holy light evermore shining

The darkness never to return

And you will be blotted out

Forgotten and melted away

No page in any book 

No word to recall your existence

And we your martyrs will rejoice

Our tears replaced with laughter

Bruised backs straightened and healed

Arms raised and voices lifted

Songs to our Maker and Savior

Sung strong and true

Our melodies carried to His ears

Living water to our hearts

So let this be a warning

And a call to turn aside

For the end of the story

Written and bound

Our creator’s long tale

Of humankind is winding down

The Truth is ascending his steed

And will soon rescue His bride

Seek him in your unbelief

Search for Truth and you will see

Once revealed it always bears fruit

And your eyes will be opened

While you still have breath

Answer the quiet call

Truth’s whispering for your attention

Repentance will open the door

Weep now for your many transgressions

From knees confess missing the mark

Find comfort that we’ve all found

Our hearts wanting and needy

Find the peace that has eluded

The hope always out of reach

The grace and mercy of your victims love

And then understand forgiveness 

Like Breathing

Love is like breathing

Take it in and live

Exhale it and give another a gift

Walk without it and slowly suffocate

A Breeze From the Garden

Had it so good

Didn’t see it

Walked by your side

Eyes wandered from your face

Every good thing

At our fingertips

No good thing denied us

Only one thing forbidden

Free will a blessing

Serpent opened the door

Had all we needed

Yet we chose the curse

Oh the grief

Of being cast out

Unfulfilled longing

Just to return home

Echoes of laughter

Of conversations long ago

In the warm sunshine

Our hands in yours

Oh the pain of truth

The need for redemption

And our inability to pay

A price beyond our means

Where could we turn

To whom would we go

Our souls in need

And our vaults empty

Silent cries

Reach searching ears

Watching us evermore

Coming to those who call your name

Empty place in each heart

In dark depths

Memories invite us home

Pity those who ignore the call

Savior’s prayer timeless reaches

Into searching hearts

And longing souls

Calling prodigals to come home

A place at your table

A mansion ready to build

A candle burns in the window

For the one in 99 you search

Our value found

In your love

Our eternity

Found in your costly gift

May our eyes be opened

The scales falling

From our weary eyes

Washed by repentant tears

Fragrant breeze drifts

Through mind’s window

Memories of pleasant walks

Hand in hand with our creator

Image

Each of us

Bearing an image

A reflection of the Earthly

And the divine

Lack for little

But found wanting still

Long for life

But living in death

Breath of life

A fading memory

Something nagging

In the corners of the mind

A cry wells up

From depths forgotten

Tears filling an ocean

Solace and longing unfulfilled

Mo mercy or quarter

Given by fellow travelers

But heart’s whisper heard

Reaching seeking ears

Invitation given

Nets cast for all

Voice carries in the wind

Hope spreads its wings

Those who are seeking

Find peace in their dreams

Mercy heals old wounds

Future brightens in sunrise

Dawn breaks in sleepy eyes

Warms long frozen hopes

Weary travelers energized

Step into life’s roads again

Moving forward toward

Hope’s eternal warmth

Comfort in our trials

Joy unexplainable

Home not far away

In a place promised

But just out of sight

Aroma of a garden on the breeze

Step in close

Bear us up in our weakness

Clear our sight

And help us to see

The image of You

Etched in our souls

And in future sweet

Tears and trials forgotten

Signs of Life

Signs of Life – 08/29/2011

Heart beating and mind lost in thought

Breathing quiet and no fear presses in

And yet disquiet rises from my soul

Satisfaction, illusive, slips from my grasp

Longing to be a hero

But mirror shows an ordinary man

Desiring recognition

Heart’s pride needs crucifying

Quiet voice calling my name

From the silence speaking

Surrender your dreams

Put to death falsehood and imitation

Give allegiance to the original

Creative spark had its beginning

One author and no one else

All imitations fail to satisfy

To what final place will we go?

And to what solution turn

When their entirety

Comes up empty

Quiet knock at soul’s door

Author’s voice whispers mercy

Hands reflect eternal sacrifice

Gift offered for our response

Repentance unlocks life eternal

Old man burns with cleansing fire

Author’s breath fills scorched lungs

And new creation rises from ashes

At Eternal Savior’s feet I rest

No where that I’d rather be

Surrounded by fellow seekers

Reborn from the same sacrifice