Sunday, October 27, 2013

STAR WARS - Fan Fiction - Enjoy

STAR WARS
MANDALORIAN BROTHER LOST
CHAPTER 1
As he began waking from his trauma induced sleep, Captain Ridge became immediately focused. His training in special ops would not let him panic. On the flip side, he was fairly certain he was up to his shebs in trouble. Question was what kind of trouble. Where was the rest of his squadron? Why were there no incoming comlink transmissions requesting his status? Where in the universe had his blind hyper jump landed him?
The automated systems of his ship were shrieking so many warnings and alarms that an ordinary man would have been driven beyond distraction into pure panic. He knew panic only as an act of a cornered animal lashing out to survive at all costs. That is what had driven him to this moment. But, now was the moment for the actions of a decisive man. His survival depended on it.
One glance out the forward viewport and he knew he was in deep bantha poodoo. In the battle he had been engaged in before his hyper jump, he had been dodging everything from proton torps, asteroids of every size, friends and foes locked in heated dogfights and the flotsam of rampant destruction, including the lifeless bodies of his comrades gone evac. There had been no time to mourn then and there was no time for it now. If he hoped to rejoin his cadre some day, he had to act swiftly now.   
“Nine-Eight, kill the autopilot now!” he yelled into his helmet mic. “Give me a status on hull integrity and life support!” “And kill those alarms too!!”
“Hull integrity is at 90% and life support is failing. There is a hull breach in the repair bay. Captain Ridge, you must return to autopilot and make immediate repairs on that breach or your survival is not likely.”
A temporary oxygen supply helmet ejected from its cubby to the left of his seat. He pulled off his bucket, replaced it with the survival helmet and rushed down the corridor for the repair bay door. He came to an abrupt halt when he remembered that his flight crew had installed a new generation astromech droid just before this last battle. He opened his comlink and shouted an order for the droid to take care of the breach ASAP.  Ridge spun about and double-timed it back towards the ships command center.
He received a barrage of buzzes, clicks, and screeches that let him know the droid was on it.
 Upon re-entering the command center Ridge was confronted with his ever concerned security droid. “Sir, we are coming in too hot. I cannot recommend this course of action at this time.”
“Nine-Eight, can your pleasantries now or I’ll pull your tinnie plug!”
“Yes sir!”
Go help the new R unit with the fixes in the repair bay now. That’s an order!
“Absolutely sir.”
Ridge threw the last of the switches that relinquished full control over to him and immediately he was in his element. All of his pilot training and experience on the battlefield kicked into high gear. The world before him was rapidly filling the forward viewport. He had little time to notice how beautiful it was, with its massive oceans and continents with almost every terrain imaginable. All Ridge knew was that if he did not slow his descent, then he would flame out like just one more non-descript asteroid burning its way into the atmosphere.
“Nine-Eight,” he said, “do you have the systems up enough that I can bring the braking thrusters online. I need them at full power. Tell me some good news!”
He desperately needed some good news. The memories of the battle that landed him here were starting to flood back to him now. The desperation to help his many brothers and the inability to be ten different places at once were nearly enough to drive him mad. The dogfight he was forced into that caused him to pull a truly desperate act. A micro-jump while in-system and surrounded by thousands of ships and randomly drifting asteroids. Knowing that it was probably just suicide and possibly the act of a coward, he needed to live long enough to turn his flight from avoiding slaughter into something redemptive.
“Nine-Eight, where are those thrusters?”
“Coming online now sir!”
He slowed his ship to the point that he could enter the atmosphere at a less steep angle. Suddenly a proximity alarm began screaming for his attention. “Where am I?” “How can there be a missile lock on me?” No time to waste.
It’s going to get rough back there!” Hang on to your shebs!
“Sir?!” Nine-Eight shrieked. “Ohhh, we’re doomed!”
“Not yet, we aren’t,” Ridge said reassuringly.
Systems showed the missile coming up fast from the port side. He could not get a read on the make. The system just labeled it as explosive. The yield was enough to vaporize a medium size city on an average world.
“Overkill if you ask me! Here goes! Hang on!”
Ridge knew that even though this ship was a good deal larger than the one or two man fighters he had formerly spent so much time in, this one was a rare bird.  It was rumored to be modeled after a prototype ship that Vader’s now deserted apprentice, “Starkiller,” had used as a mobile base in his hunt for the rogue Jedi that had escaped Order 66.
The missile was fast, but how maneuverable?
Ridge yanked the control yoke hard to starboard and began a nearly out of control descending spiral down and away from the missile. As he spun the ship down and around he caught sight of his adversary.
“That thing is huge! And, what an antique!” The missile was actually spewing fire out its backside and the ships computer indicated that the propellant was something that had not been used in the Republic for centuries.  Ridge was confident he would be able to outmaneuver the piece of outdated tech, but he had no idea what its kill radius was. 
“Nine-Eight!!  Use the scanners and find me some orbital junk!
“Absolutely sir!”
He had to lose the missile before it was joined by any friends or worse yet, any starfighters.
“Sir, I’ve found what appears to be a failing space station about 20,000 clicks to our starboard.” 
Ridge wrenched the control yoke and brought the ship out of its rolling spiral and accelerated to maximum towards the as yet unseen space station.  A few moments later, it came into view. 
“You call that a space station!?”  It was barely bigger than the ship he was in now.  The hull appeared to have been compromised and if there ever was life in the station, it was long dead judging by the state it was in now. 
No time to worry about investigating now.  Luckily, there was a trail of large and small parts from the damaged station trailing out for hundreds of clicks beyond it.  This was the break he had been looking for.  He began weaving the ship quickly through the debris, hoping that the missile had no advanced tracking abilities onboard. 
Since Ridge had straightened his trajectory, the missile had immediately begun gaining on him.  He hoped that his gamble would pay off.  Shortly after Ridge cleared the debris field the missile connected with the station.  He immediately found out what the missile’s payload was.
Thermonuclear!
“Oh, shab!!”
The shockwave caught up in a split second and suddenly the whole world was buried in the roar of his ship being hurled planetside.
In an instant Ridge was airborne and remembering why locking down his crash harness was always a good idea. And the shrieks of two suddenly weightless and tumbling droids confirmed this thought.
Somehow, Ridge clung to consciousness and clawed his way back to the command chair.  He had to get this baby back level and bring the atmospheric drives up before he turned into a shiny metal comet. 
“Nine-Eight!  Is that R unit done with repairing the burned out atmospheric drive conduit?!”  “I need to be online yesterday!” 
Ridge received a frantic static filled reply.
“What do you mean he’s not done,” Ridge barked into his mic. 
“Sometimes I forget why we ever created you tinnies.”  Ridge bellowed to no one in particular.  “Because we needed something to be more expendable than us meatcans, that’s why!”  “Ha! C’mon you two, let’s get this fancy ship operational so I can at least avoid ending up as a pretty red puddle in the middle of a crater!”
Then over the com he heard a fast chorus of beeps and whistles.  “Nine-Eight, what did that stubby can just say?” 
“Sir, he says you can light up your braking thrusters now.  And, I hesitate to say this sir, but he says he thinks we’re not alone.”
“Really?  You think?  Remind me to give “stubby” a trophy later for stating the obvious. 
Ridge flipped the toggles to kick in the braking thrusters and was greeted with an unwelcome cough and shake from the now active system.
“C’mon baby, give me a little break here!”  He pounded the control console in frustration and in an instant was greeted with green lights and a growing roar as the braking thrusters suddenly came to life.  The system immediately maxxed due the speed in which the ship was rocketing toward the planets surface.
“Give me a status report!”  He shouted, “I need to know if any of the braking flaps have been damaged.” 
Ridge could hear the astromech whistling and screeching rapidly over the comm. system.  Nine-Eight responded in a voice as close as exasperated as Ridge had ever heard from a tinnie. “What do you mean, the flaps may not hold!  Get back to work and re-calibrate the actuators and hope that you don’t get us all vaporized!”
“Captain Ridge, sir.  Our little friend will be correcting the problem with those flaps immediately.” 
“Well, we’ll know all too soon if the flaps will hold.  Prepare for a heavy pounding back there boys!”
The instrument panel began flashing out a warning. No alarms blared, but the ablative shielding on the forward sections of the ship visible from the forward viewport began glowing in the reds and oranges one would expect in a foundry.  The ship began shaking and an ever growing rumble, more felt than heard made its way through the deck and command chair.  This brought a grin, almost feral, to Ridge’s face.  Living one moment from death was nothing new in his brief experience in the universe. 
Ridge had a brief thought whether he should have taken Kal Skirata up on an offer to walk away from the GAR only a short time before the battle that had so unceremoniously dumped him here.  Wherever here was.  But there was no time for such thoughts when one was about to become one with the universe by flaming out in some backwater world’s atmosphere.
Ridge’s attention was pulled back into focus by a cockpit alarm and then the ship’s automated systems voice explaining that the ship would overheat and burn unless something was done to slow it down, soon. 
Ridge called out, “Where are those braking flaps?! 
“Coming online now, sir.” Nine-Eight called out from the engineering compartment.
Not for the first time, Ridge wondered why he ended up with a protocol droid on this ship. He would rather have had an assassin droid or better yet, one of his brothers, once again, a question that was loaded with irrelevance at this point.
Various groans, metallic squeals, and bangs rang out throughout the ship as the braking flaps came online and strained to catch the outer atmosphere to slow the ship to speeds somewhere below suicidal.
To make matters worse, a new warning came up on the threat display.  Ridge shut down the warning klaxon but waited for the computer to explain the situation.  The voiceover explained that the threat was two unknown atmospheric craft rapidly approaching from the continent directly below him.  Though their speed was high, it was not remarkable.  Ridge was more concerned about any weapons that they carried and he wasn’t sure how much abuse his shielding could take after the beating it had taken in the last confrontation. 
Ridge set the computer to search for any communication signals either coming from the craft themselves or the ground.  The computer chimed almost immediately and began piping in the audible signals it was picking up.  At first Ridge was unsure what he was hearing, but then he remembered to set the switch for translation mode.  After cycling for a few seconds the computer indicated it would provide the best approximation of the local dialect since it did not register as known by the computer. 
A hard edged male voice could be heard talking, apparently to the other pilot.  “Can you see it yet?”
“No, no visual on the target yet,” Said a clearly female voice.
Ridge thought to himself.  Were these civilian craft?  He knew it was not unheard of for females to be in the military, but he had never encountered one on the battlefield.  That is unless you counted the Jedi.  And, he had tried not to spare them too much thought recently. 
Ridge’s comm. board lit up and the voices were now more urgent. 
The male voice barked, “I’ve marked him.  He’s south of us and approaching at a steep angle from your 2 O’clock position.”
“Where... I don’t… Oh wait, I see him.  He’s trailing a lot of smoke.  Look’s like he’s gotten a bit scorched on re-entry.”
“Yeah, that’ll make him an easier mark.”
Ridge barked, “I wouldn’t count on it!”
Ridge began cycling through his weapons systems to see what their status might be.  After the beating that his ship had taken recently, he hoped he just had at least a few tricks to surprise these aruetyc offworlders with.
It was good and it was bad.  Only one of his four missile launchers was functional.  His particle projection cannons were offline, but his two medium laser cannons were almost back in the green.  He only had a few seconds before he knew what he was truly up against.
The male voice came back with, “Unidentified craft.  State your allegiance and your intentions immediately or you will be shot down!”
No choice but to hope that the reverse translator was online.  “My ship is damaged and needs repairs.  I’m not sure what you mean by allegiance, but if you are referring to who I serve, I serve the Grand Army of the Republic.  This is a military craft and I need to set down for an assessment and repairs.”
“You serve who?!”  said the female voice.
“I said, that I serve the Grand Army of the Republic.  You know, the GAR.  What planet is this anyway?!”
“What the..?  Who or what is the GAR?  Listen whoever you are and wherever you’re from, we need you to stand down your weapons systems and ground that scrap pile yesterday!”
Ridge was grinding his teeth in anger now.  He was not about to be ordered about by some aruetyc female.  Especially not one who called his precious ship a scrap pile.  It might be scorched and damaged, but he was sure he could pull out some surprises on these two pilots. 
“Nine-Eight, have that little astromech scan those two craft for any shielding that could stop the lasers or the electromag guns.”
“Yes sir.
Tweetles and buzzes could be heard as the little droid did his job.
“He says they are coated with something that appears capable of absorbing most of the laser energy, but it will not repel the electromag energy.”
“Excellent!” Ridge barked with another of his roguish grins.
He commed the two enemy pilots.
“Are you two sure you want to tangle with this rancor?”
They didn’t know what a rancor was, but the threat from Ridge was not veiled at all.
“Buddy, you’re on!,” growled the male voice.
Unknown to Ridge, the female pilot commed her male counterpart on a secure transmission.
“Deej, are you sure about this?  That craft appears to be of a design unknown to our databases.  Maybe we better just try and talk him down.  I mean, he hasn’t done anything directly against us or our ground bases at this point.  And, he has not made any real threat either.”
“Shut your yap Sarah!  I’ve been flyin’ since before you entered middle school and my gut is telling me we better finish this guy before all of us regret it.  I’m going to force this issue to conclusion now!”
Deej disengaged the safety locks on all of his weapons and accelerated his aircraft into a steep climb on a trajectory that would intercept the offworlder’s craft.
Ridge immediately received a warning from his onboard systems that there were multiple weapon locks on his ship.
“Shab!” Ridge bellowed into his com system.  “What are you two up to?  I’m warning you now, if you attack me, you won’t survive.”
“We’ll see about that dirtbag!” Came the male voice over the com.
Ridge flicked on his laser targeting and brought his missile system up to standby.
Ridge tried one last time.  “Listen, I don’t know who you are or what planet this is, but the last thing I want is to start an intergalactic incident.  Stand down and I’ll follow you to wherever you’re based.”
“Nothing doing buddy!  Our defense net tagged you as an enemy craft inbound from outside our solar system.  You didn’t answer any of our communications when you were inbound and you took out one of our listening posts.  You’re done!”
With that, Ridge’s systems began wailing out their warnings of incoming weapons fire.
“Nine-Eight, what are we looking at?”
            “Sir, we have incoming two missiles and numerous ballistic rounds of some kind.  The rounds are of a large caliber sir.  If any penetrate our shielding, they may cause hull breaches.”
Ridge snap rolled his ship and made a run planetward straight towards the male stranger while spinning a large circle around the trajectory of the ballistic rounds.
“Nine-Eight, are the electromags ready to go?”
“Yes sir.  I took the liberty of warming them up sir.”
“Excellent! 
Ridge threw the switches that would start the electromag guns building charges.  He was rewarded quickly with a green light letting him know their readiness. 
“Bye bye missiles!  Ridge was almost giddy with a realization that much of the tech that these enemies were deploying was far outdated by the tech on his ship.
“Aaarggghh!  The male voice bellowed over the open channel.  “What the frag was that?” 
“Get used to disappointment,” Ridge said. “Now, do you want to change your mind?  It’s not too late to change the out come here.”
“Not happening dirtbag!  You and your scrapheap are gonna be nothing but crater in a minute!” The male voice snapped.  This was followed by 2 missiles and a barrage of cannon rounds.
“Have it your way then,” Ridge conceded.  Then he fired the automag cannons.
“What the..!!”  Then the comm. filled with static. 
Ridge verified he’d connected with the enemy as he could see the enemy craft heeled over, engines coughing and flaming out.  The craft then went into a crazy dance of out of control flips, cartwheels and flat spins.
Another frantic voice came over the comm.  “What have you done to Deej’s plane?  Deej!  Can you hear me?  Try and restart your engines.  Deej!  Answer me!”
Ridge calmly spoke into his mic.  “Deej can’t hear you.  My automags fried all his circuits.  If he is as good as he claimed, he better go evac before that ship of his disintegrates.” 
“Did you have to do that to his ship?”
“If I wanted to live miss, yes.  Let’s not forget who the aggressor was here.  I had no other options if I was going to keep this “scrap pile” airworthy so that I can hopefully make it home one day.  If you promise to hold off firing on me, we can both follow him down and see if he gets out.”
“I’ll hold off if you promise to come with me and face an inquiry by our commanders.”
Ridge’s mind was racing through multiple scenarios.  And, none of them seemed promising at the moment.  He didn’t have much else to lose at this point.
“Ok missy, let’s follow him dirtside and then we’ll see what happens.”
Ridge kicked the atmospheric thrusters to full throttle and raced planetward attempting to catch up with Deej in what Ridge assumed was a death spiral.  As he caught up with Deej’s craft, he could see that he was not unconscious, but instead was frantically trying to get his canopy to open.  Ridge was helpless to do anything and in frustration blurted out his first thought over the open mic.  “He’s a goner.  He’ll never be able to pop the lid in time.”
The female following him then broke in and said, “Thanks bud, for your assessment but I’ll keep hoping.”
“Deej! Deej! Can you hear me? If you can, then give me a thumbs up.
To Ridge’s surprise, Deej did exactly that. “Whoa, that barv’s one strong soldier! I’m not sure many men could keep conscious with all of the g’s that guy is pulling right now?”
The woman’s voice was filled with exasperation.  “Nevermind what you think right now! I just want to save my wingman Deej.”
Ridge barked into his comm.  “Can you reach your sidearm?”
A thumbs up.
“Blow the lock with a shot or two.”  Ridge suggested.  “It’s your only chance.”
Ridge saw Deej’s arm come up with a small pistol and then two puffs of smoke or gas breached the canopy near the front of the cockpit. Then Deej hit the ceiling with both hands. The canopy shot quickly out of sight and almost as fast, he was sucked out, or pushed off from the cockpit. Luckily for Deej, he had his crash helmet on and it came with a small oxygen supply connected from cells in his vest. Deej’s flight suit also appeared to have small sections of webbing in the underarms and in the crotch. Deej kicked hard away from his cockpit rim, spun briefly into a fetal position until he was clear of the wreckage and then spread his arms and legs to reveal the webbing there.  The webbing caught the air and jerked his body into a slowing descent.  Once Deej oriented himself with the landmarks below him, he could be seen to go into several controlled turns and dives that resulted with him angled steeply toward a high plain below a moderately sized mountain range.  Some distance to the West of the plain, a river could be seen flowing from North to South.  Even farther to the West, a much larger mountain range could be seen, hazy in the distance, but obviously covered in snow at the higher elevations. 
Ridge was now sure that he could bring his ship in for a fairly smooth landing, but was increasingly unsure as to whether he would be a free man once he stood dirtside.  His astromech was now warning him that there were at least four additional fighter craft coming in from the North and South to prevent him from escaping.  Ridge felt he could take on these craft but also knew that in his ships condition, if he sustained much more damage, he would be unlikely to lift off this rock again, let alone finding his way home.  Wherever home might be from here.
Ridge’s comm. crackled and shook him out of his thoughts. 
“Hey!  Are you still with me in there?  I need you to follow my directions carefully.  That is if you don’t want the rest of these trigger happy flyboys to light you up like a Christmas tree.”
“A what?”
“Nevermind right now.  Just stick close and I’ll try and make sure you live long enough to get a hearing.  Maybe you’ll get to be a free man if you’re a good boy.”
Ridge just about barked out a harsh reply, but then thought better of it and said, “I’ll do my best to stick close.  By the way, I did not get your name miss.”
“I’m not a miss. I am a fighter pilot.  But, you can call me Sarah.”
As they approached the valley floor, Ridge realized that this area was a desert and appeared to have no surface water other than the river that sat a number of miles to the West of their location.  The installation that they were approaching was large but appeared to be old and spread out over a large area.  It did not have the look of a military installation, at least not in comparison to the places he was accustomed to back in the core. 
“Miss…, I mean Sarah, what sort of military base is this? Ridge questioned. It does not seem very fortified.  Where are the gun emplacements and where are your assault ships stationed?  This seems more like a …” 
A crackle came over the comm..
“Cut the chatter, whoever you are,” barked a rather stern male voice.  “And, Sarah, knock off the info sharing immediately!” 
“Alien craft, set your ship down over by the light array to your North East immediately.” Said the same stern voice.  “Stand down your weapons, cut power to your primary flight systems, and prepare to be boarded.”
Ridge bit his tongue and responded as if to one of his commanders back in the GAR.  “Yes sir. Understood sir.”
Unknown to Ridge, Sarah received a secure transmission from her commander.  “Who is this guy?  Sir.  Yes Sir!  Where did you find him anyway?  Sounds like the ideal soldier.  Ha!  We’ll see how respectful he feels after a little interrogation.”
“Commander, I…just…  Please remember that this guy saved Deej’s life. 
“Yeah, right after he shot his plane full of holes!” He said sarcastically.  “At the moment, he is an enemy and he is flying tech that none of us are familiar with.  He better be cooperative and he better continue showing respect or he might be spending the rest of his pathetic life in the brig.”
As Ridge brought his ship low over the alien tarmac he was again struck at how old and worn out the facility looked.  Sure, the old fashioned runways appeared to have been recently resurfaced, but most of the buildings were of a sort unfamiliar to him.  Many of them looked as if they were barely standing and even the sturdier ones were heavily weathered and patched in many places with scraps of metal and what appeared to be wood.  Back home in the GAR, most permanent facilities were constructed of ferrocrete and transparisteel.  At worst a more temporary setup would be created by linking numerous plasti-form modular units.  This appeared to be a pretty backrocket world if he’d ever seen one.
Ridge couldn’t resist showing off his piloting skills to these areutyc, so called pilots.  He accelerated towards his final landing position and just as he overshot it, he pitched the ship towards the sky which pushed the inertial dampers screaming to the edge of their limits.  At the top of his loop he snap rolled the ship through several complete spins for maximum effect and then he plunged at high speed straight for the ground which produced some loud bangs from somewhere back towards the cargo section.  At the bottom of his run he kicked the repulsors to maximum and spun the craft into a sideways slide until he was centered over the tarmac landing lights.  He rotated the craft lightly one last time so that he could see his captors approaching him in vehicles from what he assumed must be the command hanger. 
Ridge could see four small vehicles approaching his ship.  As the ship cooled he could hear various pings and ticks as the surface temps dropped.  After a moment, he could here Nine-Eight coming up the corridor, apparently grumbling about show off pilots.  Ridge laughed uncertainly.  Though he was confident he could fight his way out of just about any situation, he was not at all adept at negotiations.  And, he was sure this was going to require some new skills on his part.

"50"

Here I stand
Looking back
Across a rich landscape
Of mountains and valleys

I can see the past
Dark days and bright ones too
Loves indelible mark on my soul
Scars speak of battles fought

But here on this high peak
After reaching this midpoint
A decision calls for attention
And I am filled with fear

No stranger to this
Didn’t ask for these burdens
But we all face them
Find solace in experiences shared

And so I move on
For staying means stagnation
No resting on laurels here
Courage creating forward motion

And this bravery you see
Well, it’s not my own
It comes from roots grown deep
Anchored in your promises

But this heart still trembles
Unknown future breathes its threats
And I am tempted to run
From this fight to flee

But instead I cry out
For your hand in mine
And the hands of fellow travelers
Loves and friendships, treasured gifts
Undeserved grace still blesses
And I find my strength
Rise again from my knees
And you lift my chin

You dry these tears
Whisper your promises yet again
And you call me to follow
To enter a battle already won

So here I stand
Looking back has its value
See the altars I lifted here and there
You’re faithfulness proven every time

You’ve never forsaken me
You’ve always been there to catch me
You’ve never left me alone
And for that Dear Jesus I love you

A friend on whom I can always depend
Who understands even my silence
Who will share even my final steps
You are the light in my darkness

You are the truth
The Word that has always been
You are the life pulsing in these old bones
The very breath in these lungs

The breath of God
Spoken into existence by him
Sitting at his right hand
Your life given for mine

My life a one of a kind gift
Given with no strings attached
Wrapped in your love and care
Meant to be given away too

It may take me all my life long
A blink of time in your eyes
And a drop in the ocean of eternity
But I want to give it away as you ask

To be more than the sum of my parts
Your child through and through
Want to see your eyes smiling at mine
To hear you whisper “Well done my son”

And so I take this next step
Set off again on this life road
Take lessons from the past
And look forward with peace in my heart

To where you will lead me next

 By Michael Meehan - 10-27-13



Thursday, July 25, 2013

The Courageous


How do I take courage
Face each day
With all these storms
Break the slaver’s chains

Courage is moving forward
Doing something
While others do nothing
Action over stillness

Outcomes unknown
But rewards assured
Tapped into your strength
A twig in your vine

Mysteries becoming less deep
As you reveal your heart
The blessings of friendship
And promises kept

We, your adopted children
Princesses and Princes are we
Called into your purposes
And you dress us for battle

Mercenaries we are not
But an army instead
Battles fought quietly
From our knees in prayer

Enemy brought low
In quiet acts of love
Selfless giving
From grateful hearts

Captives freed
The lost are found
Face to face
One relationship at a time

So I’ve thrown in my lot
Laid my sword at your feet
Accepted all you offer

And sworn my allegiance

The Sneak


It sneaks up from behind
Catches you unaware
Sometimes oblivious
You just don’t care

But when it catches you
When you’re caught in its wake
Fear rises from its slumber
And you tremble and shake

This is the moment
Is it fight or flight?
No time to think
Whether wrong or right

And so you act
Lean into the moment
Accept your vulnerability
And face the torment

And you may wonder
Who this monster might be
Of whom do I write?
And how come it frightens me?

Since you asked
With sincerity of heart
And in boldness too
I will answer for my part

This monster dwells
Not in the mountains
Nor in the deepest ocean
In its dark and unseen fountains

Instead it lives close by
Nearer than your dearest one
Leaps from the unlikeliest place
And from it we cannot run

Can you venture a guess?
Have I given no clue?
Are you ready to give in
Truly, have I stumped you?

Forgive me my vagueness
And my cryptic manner
I am nearer to my reveal
And to surrender’s banner

I speak of a monster
And for it I’m not to blame
It’s forced upon me by others

And its name my friend is “Shame”

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Altars and Burning Bushes


Of Altars and Burning Bushes – Jan 28, 2013

Your still and quiet voice
Whispers softly to my heart
Cannot ignore its’ powerful call
Tears come as memory rises

You turn my minds eye
To look from this vista
Back over my life
Molded by your skillful hand

Catching glimpses
Of altars and burning bushes
Carefully placed
Where you met with me

You have made these promises
And you have never failed
Never forsaken me or any other
Your words our anchor

In life’s inevitable storms

Can’t take the credit
But I can treasure hope
For this thing I have never lacked
The blessings you’ve bestowed

And because of these blessings
I have built these altars
Where my eyes have seen
Your miracles and victories

I stand here and my tongue confesses
The truth of your love
Your undeniable hand
In these unforgettable moments

I have not faced the Red sea
And no oppressors like Egypt
But still you have heard my cry
To be saved from my enemies

And so I have looked back
Over a life like so many others
With its challenges and battles
And I have seen burning bushes

Moments where you have spoken
God moments
Where my heart beat faster
For I knew I was in your presence

Standing on holy ground

So when this old world
Does its best to drag me down
To drown my hopes
In overflowing sadness

I look back over my shoulder
Back over the distance
Down the length and breadth
Of this fragile life

And to my minds eye
You bring forth
Every altar set there
To remember each miracle

The greatest to the smallest

And warm tears begin to fall
Like joyful rain
On my grateful heart
For I have not forgotten

I have not let slip away
The burning bushes
Or the angel songs
The answered cries

For you are faithful
And I will not let go
Though hope is fragile
I have not let it go

So may those who read
These mortal words
And these finite phrases
Look carefully backwards

And may they never miss
Nor dare to overlook
The burning bush moments
And the altars reverently built

On their own journey
Over the sands of time
And into their present
Carried forward, this gift

And may they not let go
Of this same hope
That he will never leave nor forsake
Those that love him and seek his face


by Michael Meehan

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Lean into Joy

I long to lean into joy
To practice gratitude
Taking note of blessings
And dwelling on thanksgiving

To become a glass
Not as now, half empty
And not even half full
Instead, spilling over the rim

To walk away from dread
To run from the shoe drop
Living in the joy of each moment
Where simple things become defining

To truly feel adequate
Knowing that I am enough
The illusion of perfection a destroyer
Seeing myself through Christ’s eyes

Cast far away the falsehoods
Being vulnerable and real
Accepting my quirks and uniqueness
And loving others for the same

So when the little joys of life
Spring up before my eyes
May I vanquish the stormy thoughts
Seeking to steal away these precious gifts

And when a heart of gratitude takes over
Then thanksgiving will begin to flower
Fearful heart will gain new strength
And the enemy’s lies will fall on deaf ears

So God please hear this fervent prayer
And grant this heartfelt wish
That I might become a man of gratitude
With thanksgiving in all that comes my way



Sunday, December 2, 2012

Let Your "Merry Christmas" not just be a "Happy Holidays."

Just sitting here thinking on this gray and wet Fall day. Setting my mind up for the day. Going to church and then later, taking Alyssa to her praise team practice where they are preparing for several Christmas program presentations. 

Several thoughts are still bouncing around in this brain of mine. Thoughts that occurred to me as I enjoyed going to the 2nd annual city of Eastvale, CA tree lighting festivities last night.

The first and foremost thought that hit me last night, was how great it was that I have so many wonderful friends! We were fortunate enough to share some special moments with some of our friends from our Bible study small group last night and I was greatly encouraged by the meaningful conversations I had with a few of them. Friendships are some of our greatest and often undervalued treasures. Let's all take some time this year to remember and cherish those we care about. Let's remember that though this time of year is filled with fun and fellowship, it is also a time that can be difficult, stressful, and lonely for many of those we know. Let's take the time to do more than just the casual hello and do what it takes to lift each other up and show the love of Christ in whatever the Holy Spirit inspires us to do.

The second thought is this: As I listened to the music programs that were highlighted last night at our church sponsored festivities, it was not lost on me that at the end of each performance, whomever was the spokesperson for the performing groups made sure to wish everyone "Happy Holidays!" Though I fully understand that there are those who do not believe as we Christians do and though I also understand that there were possibly verbal agreements made to avoid any references to Christ since the event was setup for the city of Eastvale, the last time I looked at our great country's constitution I was under the impression that we still have freedom of speech and freedom of religion among other things.

Let's face it, if there were no celebration of Christ's birth at this time of year, is it possible that there would be some other winter holiday festivities? Yes, it is certainly possible. However, that is not the case in reality. The reality is that the primary celebration of this time of year is Christ our Savior's birth. I for one will not stop saying Merry Christmas. I am not ashamed of my Savior or what this holiday is really about. The gift giving and the myths set up around Santa Clause are not bothersome to me, though they can certainly be distracting . For those of you who choose to stay away from causing controversy or rocking the boat over our beliefs, you are free to do so. Just keep in mind that Jesus did stir it up when he walked among us and that he did say that we would suffer for bearing the mark of being his children. Let us continue in courage and without shame in speaking about his love and showing our allegiance to something far bigger and much more important than being politically correct. Let us enthusiastically say "Merry Christmas" since it is for that reason above all else that we celebrate this time of year. Be strong and courageous!

I am heading back to work tomorrow after spending the last two plus months on a leave of absence. If you are a person of prayer, please lift me up as I get back into the work groove.


Saturday, October 27, 2012

Where Do We Stand?


Where Do We Stand?
Though my body lies here
Beaten down, bruised, and sore
Though my heart quakes
And, my chest is heavy with fear

I hear echoes calling
Whispering quietly to my soul
Waking slumbering hope
Gentle hand lifts fallen chin

You raise my tear stained eyes
To look on your kind face
Compassions’ gift in your every word
Falls on my ears like rain after a drought

Gently lifting me to my feet
Arm slips under mine and bears
The weight of all my fears and cares
Guiding me forward through life’s storms

How lost this heart, from wandering far
Seeking for the misplaced piece
To fill this God shaped gap
A piece once placed and then left behind

Sorely missed now and longed for
I know you are close at hand
For it is I, not you that strayed
Your promise never to leave, unbroken

So now I ask for you to step back in
And assume your rightful place
Upon the throne that I usurped
And I once again at your feet

At your beck and call
A foot soldier and standard bearer
Strengthened by your promises
Both fulfilled and yet to be

Your kind eyes shift to fierce
And you call out your marching orders
Call me to courage and standing strong
Asking me to overwhelm fear with prayer

For you see, when I look back
Across the length of my memories
There are alters there
Monuments to your faithfulness

For my faith in you my Lord
My savior, redeemer, and friend
It has never been misplaced
When my hand has slipped into yours

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Higher Mammal


Higher Mammal  – June 26, 2012

Where are the heroes?
What happened to the brave?
Courage seems too rare
Honor vanished and gone

Moved by nothing
Except selfish pursuits
We throw away eternity
Sell it for finite possessions

Seek for security in a job
For peace in a home
For love in a significant other
Eyes on all but the creator

Settle for the mundane
For life with no adventure
Predictable days with little risk
And for nothing to aspire

Don’t believe in the eternal
Nothing but a higher mammal
Born, learn, breed, and die
Hope but an abstract thing

Never asking why there’s a hole
At the center of our existence
Never filled and never satisfied
Always left wanting

Somehow blinded to our need
Believe ourselves good and yet
By what standard are we measured
A deep question for a mammal

Wake up and look back
Over a life gone by
Wondering where did it fly
Terminal existence pricks us

Searched for answers
But rejected them all
Grave causes desperation
Hope waking in renewed thought

Start the questioning again
Creator waits and is unafraid
No question being stupid
With eternity on the line

A toast to the seekers
For those who seek truth
Unsatisfied with weak humanism
They find truth in one so named

Monday, August 6, 2012

My Lazarus Journey


Hard is the road
To where a new future begins
Narrow the path
That leads to promises fulfilled

Can’t reach my destination
On the strength of a broken heart
So many dreams died along the way
Not sure if any remain

My hope lies barely breathing
Like the flutter of tiny wings
Clinging to life by finest thread
Who will dare to save me?

Does anyone get me?
Does anyone care?
Does anyone want me…
More than what I can provide?

Maybe I want more
Than what any human can give
Maybe my hearts longing
Can only be filled by my maker

Though I wish nothing more
Than to leave this pain behind
Though I’d rather be
Far away on the other side

I am deeply committed
Heels dug in and clinging tight
To the promises You made
My Savior and friend

No other has been so faithful
No other has in every moment
Through joy and sorrow
Been ever at my side

For now I know you carry me
My faith but a tiny thing
Put to shame by a mustard seed
Praying your faith replaces mine

An empty vessel
A lump of clay
I lie here
Awaiting your strong hand

Awaiting the artist’s touch
The old man ready to die
Sacrificed my longed for son
At your blessed request

Restore my dreams
Breathe life back
Into these dry bones
Call me back from the dead

For my very marrow cries out
For your presence
To call my heart your dwelling
To cleanse every dark corner

For now dear friend
I wait quiet in the night
Anticipation my companion
And a new dawn approaches

Understanding Forgiveness is a Long Journey


Pardon my sarcasm
Forgive my lack of p.c.
But where would we be
Without the curious?

Want me to just conform
Kowtow to your ways
But I look in the mirror
And no lemming do I see

Pardon my French
But, you’re a follower
Nauseatingly gullible
Intellectually dishonest

Follow the tides
Of popular tripe
Winds of change come
And you’re long gone

Say I’m a fool
Call me anachronistic
A freak following
Nothing but a lunatic

Many ways to God?
You say it’s true
But everything can’t be
Wind carries away the chaff

One day holy fire
Will leave only the pure
Absolute truth standing alone
All that remain, on their faces

Gone like winter snow
On a sunny day forgotten
Your empty philosophies
Betraying you and your kind

And the risen Son on his throne
Will cast his rays day and night
Holy light evermore shining
The darkness never to return

And you will be blotted out
Forgotten and melted away
No page in any book 
No word to recall your existence

And we your martyrs will rejoice
Our tears replaced with laughter
Bruised backs straightened and healed
Arms raised and voices lifted

Songs to our Maker and Savior
Sung strong and true
Our melodies carried to His ears
Living water to our hearts

So let this be a warning
And a call to turn aside
For the end of the story
Written and bound

Our creator’s long tale
Of humankind is winding down
The Truth is ascending his steed
And will soon rescue His bride

Seek him in your unbelief
Search for Truth and you will see
Once revealed it always bears fruit
And your eyes will be opened

While you still have breath
Answer the quiet call
Truth’s whispering for your attention
Repentance will open the door

Weep now for your many transgressions
From knees confess missing the mark
Find comfort that we’ve all found
Our hearts wanting and needy

Find the peace that has eluded
The hope always out of reach
The grace and mercy of your victims love
And then understand forgiveness 

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Like Breathing


Love is like breathing

Take it in and live

Exhale it and give another a gift

Walk without it and slowly suffocate